Martinelli: From Golden Boy to Goat? (Inspired by Pedro of Le Grove - as usual, the podcaster supreme is spot on!)
To tell the truth, I'm not sure if being a goat is a compliment or an insult. One of my former students sent me a message yesterday calling me the GOAT! I was thinking Shaun Goater or 'Feed The Goat and he will score fame', so I guessed it meant something nice so I looked it up and found out:
'It depends entirely on the context — and whether the person typing it grew up on Mustafi memes or Michael Jordan highlights. GOAT (all caps): In modern slang, this is almost always positive. It stands for "Greatest of All Time" — think Messi, Serena Williams, or Henry in 2004. If someone calls you a GOAT, they're basically anointing you as legendary. goat (lowercase): Traditionally, not so flattering. In older football culture, "the goat" was the poor sod who cost his team the game (think David Seaman in 2002 vs. Ronaldinho). A scapegoat, in other words. Context clash: Here's the problem — if you're Martinelli and Arsenal fans are calling you the "GOAT" on Twitter, you'd better check whether they mean "legend" or "the bloke who'll take the blame when it all goes wrong." So, to answer you straight: ✔️ Being called GOAT is great. ❌ Being called goat (or worse, scapegoat) is about as enjoyable as watching Tottenham releasing a DVD after beating Arsenal's U9s at tiddlywinks. So I can rest easy maybe. But what about Martinelli? My eldest son reckons Martinelli didn't really cut it against Liverpool the other day, but then who did? The Reds are the reigning champions, so we can't expect to go there and play them off the park.
Now Pedro of Le Grove is covering the demise of Martinelli it must be official. He's the Brazilian elephant in the dressing room now that Gabriel Martinelli has become Arsenal's latest scapegoat. And what an upgrade in that department.
Back in the bad old days, some people used to heap the blame on Mustafi and Sokratis — two centre-backs who sometimes defended like they were auditioning for "You've Been Framed." Now, our moaning mob have moved on to a 24-year-old Brazil international. Progress? I'm not sure.
Klopp Called Him a Striker
Let's not forget Jurgen Klopp once called Martinelli "the talent of the century." Granted, Klopp's been wrong before — he thought Adrian was a competent keeper — but still, there's something to it. Martinelli through the middle? We've all wanted to see it. He's direct, powerful, good in the air, and defenders don't enjoy marking him. But instead of unleashing him, Arsenal seem intent on burying his value deeper than Chelsea bury their Financial Fair Play receipts.
Because that's what we do. We buy young talent, shove them into tactical purgatory, and then act surprised when their resale value falls faster than a Tottenham title challenge.
From Dazzling Feet to Tracking Back
Remember when Martinelli was described as explosive, unpredictable, and capable of Sanchez-like magic? Now the elevator pitch is: "He tracks back well and Arteta's pleased with his tactical execution." I'm sorry, but I didn't grow up on Thierry Henry, Ian Wright, and Charlie George just to sit through lectures about pressing triggers and defensive shape. If I wanted that, I'd watch rugby.
Pep's Legacy of Boring Wingers
Pep Guardiola has trophies, sure. But he also has blood on his hands — the murder weapon being over-coaching. Jack Grealish went from a joyriding maverick to a glorified traffic cone. Arteta, Pep's star pupil, may be in danger of doing the same to Martinelli. Even Ødegaard dipped last season, Jesus lost his sparkle, although that's down to injuries, and now Gabi looks like the latest casualty of what some might say is: 'Project Control Freak'. I'm not sure sure though. Isn't that the price of success? George Graham ended up offloading Charlie Nicholas because his flair didn't fit in with the kind of team he was successfully creating at Arsenal.
Two Games In, Two Meltdowns
Let's not get carried away, though. The outrage merchants are acting like Arsenal have been relegated. Two tough away games: United and Liverpool. One win, one unlucky defeat. Is that really cause for a Twitter inquest? This season has barely got going, and yet half the fanbase is writing Martinelli's obituary while sharpening their pitchforks for Arteta. Maybe — just maybe — we wait until the squad's fully fit before predicting doom? Just a thought. As well as that, I'd have been happy with 5 points from 3 games, given how stern the tests were. We've got 6! That's not bad at all!
Gyökeres and Merino: The Side Acts
Elsewhere, Viktor Gyökeres managed to assist for Sweden — albeit via a touch so clumsy it looked like he'd been hoofed in the shin by a farm animal. He's a box monster, yes, but one who treats a football like it's coated in butter.
Match Recap:
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Result: Sweden 2–2 Slovenia
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Gyökeres' contribution:
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Minutes played: 90
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Assists: 1 (set up Yasin Ayari's goal)
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Touches: 47
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Passing accuracy: ~65%
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Praised by Swedish media as "very strong… held off defenders… strong, unyielding, and loyal."
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Calafiori and Gabriel: The Centre-Back Comfort
Good news at the back, at least. Riccardo Calafiori is already posting stats that make him look like Baresi reincarnated, and Gabriel's gone from Brazilian scapegoat to being hailed as the best in his position internationally!
Final Whistle
So here we are: Martinelli, the latest Arsenal talent to be micromanaged into mediocrity, scapegoated for a wobble that hasn't even begun. Maybe he bounces back, maybe he doesn't. But if Arteta wants his attackers to sparkle, he may need to loosen the tactical straitjacket before our wingers turn into clones of Jack Grealish — sober, sensible, and soul-destroyingly dull.
Because some say Arsenal without flair is like Tottenham with a trophy: something nobody wants to see. And yet, aren't trophies the be all and end all?
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