Tuesday, 2 September 2025

Exodus - movement of the dead wood

Arsenal's Great Loan Exodus: Who's Actually Left in north London?


If you thought Arsenal's summer clear-out was done, think again. Andrea Berta has decided to treat the loan market like a car boot sale — only instead of flogging dodgy DVDs and rusty kettles, we're shipping out half the squad with a cheery "all the best!" and hoping nobody notices the shelves are bare.


Reiss Nelson is arguably the headline act, joining Brentford on loan. The lad's been with us since he was knee-high, seventeen years of service, but at 25 he's still playing the role of eternal understudy. He dazzled briefly at Fulham last season before his hamstrings reminded him who's boss. Now he's off to the Bees to see if they can squeeze more out of him than Arteta ever did. Seventeen years at Arsenal, and all we've got to show for it is the odd late cameo and a nice goal against Forest.


Speaking of Forest, Oleksandr Zinchenko is off there too. Yes, the man who was supposed to revolutionise inverted full-backs has instead been inverted himself — straight out the door. A loan deal at 28? That's the footballing equivalent of crashing on your mate's sofa because you can't afford rent. He had a storming debut season, buzzing about like a Duracell bunny and scoring that screamer against Villa, but injuries and tactical tinkering have reduced him to a YouTube memory. Forest fans will love him for three months before realising he's held together with duct tape.


Meanwhile, Jakub Kiwior has been packed off to Porto, also on loan. This one stings less because, let's be honest, nobody could quite work out if he was a centre-half, a left-back, or a hologram. Credit where it's due: he pocketed Real Madrid's forwards last spring — a miracle up there with loaves and fishes. But two good games don't make a career, and Porto clearly fancy testing him in a slower league where his composure might look more like elegance than hesitation.


And then there's Fábio Vieira, who's been sent to Hamburger SV. He joined as the supposed Portuguese wizard, but more often than not he looked like he'd been hexed. A couple of goals, some neat touches, and that Community Shield penalty against City — but in truth, Vieira was too often a luxury player in a league where luxuries get booted into Row Z. Germany might suit him, if the schnitzel doesn't.


Finally, Sambi Lokonga. Not a loan this time — an actual permanent transfer to Hamburger SV. We can finally file this one under "nice idea, didn't work." The Belgian arrived as Anderlecht's midfield metronome, but in north London he spent more time looking like a lost tourist than the next Yaya Touré. Palace, Luton, Sevilla — he tried them all, and none of them screamed "future Arsenal captain." Good luck to him in Germany; at least someone bought a ticket.


So here we are: Arsenal's wage bill lighter, the dressing room emptier, and Mikel's squad looking more like a minimalist art installation than a title-challenging unit. Loans everywhere, but precious little cash in the bank. Let's just hope we're not sitting here in March wishing we hadn't sent half the bench abroad with a pat on the back.



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