Curse Of The Ex Wrecks Geordies

& LATE, LATE GABI SHOW SAVES THE DAY ON TOON TURF

It's not every day you see Arsenal come back from the dead on Tyneside. Usually, we're the ones being buried under the weight of black-and-white hubris, watching our set-pieces sail harmlessly into the arms of a grateful keeper while St James' Park turns into a giant pub karaoke.

But not this time. Not on Gabi's watch.

A Familiar Horror Show… Until It Wasn't

Nick Woltemade, Newcastle's very own telegraph pole with boots, decided to try his hand at WWE by nudging Gabriel in the back and heading home like he'd just been handed a ladder in Money in the Bank. Naturally, VAR decided that this kind of foul play was perfectly fine — unlike Pope's trip on Gyökeres earlier, which after a four-minute seminar in Stockley Park was magically downgraded from penalty to "keeper's union handshake."

Meanwhile, Pope had slipped into "Superman on Red Bull" mode, saving from Eze, Trossard, Timber, and anyone else daring to take aim. The Magpies' back line looked less like defenders and more like blokes waiting for Pope to bail them out. Which he did. Until he didn't.

Merino Returns From the Past

Enter Mikel Merino, once shipped out of Newcastle like an unwanted Amazon parcel, now popping up in Arsenal red to haunt his former employers. He bundled home a Rice cross that ping-ponged off the post and past a despairing Pope, reminding everyone that Arsenal are contractually obliged to employ a midfielder who scores headers in crucial away games.

Merino's goal looked like the classic "we'll take the draw and head back down the A1" moment. But Arsenal don't do boring anymore.

Gabi Rises

Deep into stoppage time, Odegaard dusted off his left boot, swung in another wicked corner, and Gabriel Magalhães — all limbs, fury, and forehead — rose above the chaos to power us to glory. Ninety-sixth minute. The kind of goal that makes you spill your pint, hug a stranger, and briefly believe in destiny.

Liverpool's lead at the top? Down to two points. Newcastle's fortress? Breached by the very thing they thought they'd perfected — the short-corner routine. Oh, the irony.

Numbers for the Nerds

• Our winner clocked in at 95:45 — the second-latest away winner we've ever managed in the Premier League (Declan Rice still owns the crown with that Luton dagger).
• Two goals after the 84th minute — as many as we'd managed in the last four games combined at St James'.
• 36 goals from corners since summer 2023. Set-piece FC is alive, well, and laughing at everyone else.
• Merino? Top scorer in 2025. Four headers already this year. Somewhere, Tony Adams is smiling.

Next Up

Olympiacos at home midweek, West Ham at the weekend. Two more chances to perfect this new party trick: leave it late, scare the life out of us, then win it anyway.