The Villarreal Villainy: Arteta's Army Undone by Pepe and Old Habits
So much for home comforts. Arsenal's grand return to the Emirates ended not with fireworks, but with a familiar gut-punch, courtesy of a man we once paid £72 million for – Nicolas Pepe. Yes, that Nicolas Pepe. The one I said a lot of us underestimated!
If football has a cruel sense of irony, it delivered it cold and clinical in the shape of a 3-2 pre-season defeat to Villarreal.
But fear not, Gooners! Mikel Arteta insists this was a "good kind of pain." One for the "belly." Lovely.
In a game that had all the trappings of a testimonial and the defensive structure of a house made of biscuits, Arsenal did what they do best in pre-season: played some attractive football, looked vulnerable on the break, and gave a warm welcome to former players who proceeded to ruin the evening.
Let's rewind.
Pepe's Polite Poke and the Counter Curse
We began brightly. Viktor Gyökeres got his first start, Nwaneri was buzzing about like he'd just downed a Lucozade, and we were bossing possession. Then, predictably, the football gods chuckled and said: "Not so fast."
Pepe, in full nostalgia mode, pounced on a sloppy clearance and poked Villarreal into a 1-0 lead. He didn't celebrate – probably out of respect, or possibly confusion. Either way, the Emirates was stunned into silence.
Before we could catch our breath, a second goal arrived. We were, yet again, sliced open on the counter like a ripe avocado. This time Karl Etta Eyong did the honours.
But wait! A lifeline. Martinelli's corner floated to the back post, where new signing Christian Nørgaard nodded in his first Arsenal goal. 2-1, and back in it… briefly.
Danjuma Dagger and the Dowman Debut
Second half, new faces. We came out with purpose. Odegaard started pulling strings, Gyökeres looked lively, and Merino joined the attack with gusto. But for all our probing, we were undone – yes, again – by a classic counter. Arnaut Danjuma raced away and buried a finish with clinical ease. 3-1, and the alarm bells were ringing.
Still, there was a flicker of life. Max Dowman – just 15 years old – was introduced, and immediately won a penalty with a smart bit of movement. Odegaard, ever the professional, converted calmly. 3-2, and it was game on.
Except it wasn't. Villarreal sat deep, absorbed the pressure, and held on. Because of course they did.
Bonus Round: Penalties, Because Why Not
With spirits sagging and Arteta searching for positives, both sides lined up for a practice penalty shootout. It went about as well as you'd expect: misses, saves, and a final whimper of a spot-kick from Madueke wrapped it all up at 4-3 to the visitors.
Arteta: It's the Belly Pain That Counts
Post-match, Mikel was philosophical. He praised the spirit, scolded the naivety, and talked of "pain in the belly" like a man who's read too much Camus. He insists we're "in a good place," which is the sort of thing you say when your defence is leaking goals like a colander and your striker hasn't scored yet.
On the plus side, Timber and Gabriel got minutes, Dowman got plaudits, and the fans got a glimpse of the future – both bright and bewildering.
What's Next? Athletic Club, Then the Real Stuff
It all wraps up on Saturday when we face Athletic Club in the Emirates Cup. Then, eight days later, the real stuff begins. Manchester United. At Old Trafford. Live ammunition.
Let's just hope the belly pain turns into backline resilience by then.
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